Monday, May 31, 2010

Kirtley's Rules of Wisdom

(Bruce, Mr. Kirtley, and me at a wedding last May)

Last Sunday, I went to a retirement party for my high school English teacher, Mr. Kirtley. He was without a doubt one of my all time favorite grade school teachers and I pity all future generations of English students who won't get to have him as a teacher. The party was filled with his friends, co-workers and former students, and it was great to see a bunch of people that I haven't seen in about five years!

As a parting gift to all of his guests, Mr. Kirtley gave us all a small sample of "Kirtley's 66 Rules for a Good Life." I would like to share them with you now...

1. Read some non-fiction. Several biographies or autobiographies a year will be good for you.

2. Read to your children from the minute they come home from the hospital.

3. Have adult conversations with your parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles NOW. Let them talk about their own lives and upbringing. You will value the content of these conversations your whole life. Don't put it off.

4. Don't forget Mother's Day.

5. Undertake volunteer work for which you have a passion.

6. Write notes: thank you notes, notes of congratulations, notes of sympathy, etc. Boys, this is not a sissy thing to do. The "big boys" (CEOs, college and university presidents, school administrators, physicians, lawyers, and heads of firms and many more men) do it all the time.

7. Learn to use objective case pronouns correctly. If the pronoun functions as a direct object, indirect object, or object of the preposition, you need to use an objective case pronoun: me, us, him, her, it, them.
Example...
Wrong: Dad handed the keys to Delores and I.
Right: Dad handed the keys to Delores and me. (object of preposition)

8. Memorize at least five inspirational lines. These may be Bible verses, lines of poetry, or some expression that someone has said that made a particular impression on you. You never know when you might be a POW, a hostage, or simply sitting in an emergency room or an intensive care waiting area and need to draw upon these for emotional sustenance.

9. When phoning someone other than people you talk to on a regular or almost daily basis, identify yourself by both first and last name. Don't assume that the person with whom you are talking will automatically recognize your voice. Believe it or not, you're not the only Adam, Chris, or Kristen in the world and chances are the person on the other end of the phone isn't psychic.

10. DO NOT capitalize the names of the seasons unless it's the first word in a sentence. Many people including the intelligentsia make this mistake.

11. Be compassionate. Let "There, but for the grace of God go I" ring in your ears.

12. Make an effort to get to know people unlike yourself or people with whom you think you have nothing in common.

13. Remember: One day a peacock, the next a feather duster.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Gremlins

Something is stealing things from our house.

So far, we've lost Mitch's hat, a camera case, half a mason jar of moonshine, a box of bullets, my new skin... the list just keeps getting longer.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Making Moonshine

Several members of my family have been working on a little project for about a week now. You see, at my house, we really like beer. Not alcoholic-like, just obsessively collecting beer bottles (dad), combined with a desire to try every variety of beer known to man (dad and mitch), and an at home brew-kit that just about everyone gets involved with.

But now, we have a new project brewing in our house (ha! get it? Brewing? Sorry, I'm done now). That project is... MOONSHINE!

We've been fermenting a huge vat of mush in our beer fermenter for the past week and last night we finally set up the still and started distilling. I felt like I was back in Organic Chemistry lab...

It took absolutely forever for the first drop to finally fall, but when it did I documented it.

Witness here the beautifully, steady stream of pure alcohol... we're estimating it was about 200 proof.


We each filled a teaspoon to see how it tasted. It was such pure alcohol that it basically completely evaporated in our mouths! It was super strong and didn't really taste like anything, but I swear I could still feel it on my tongue about five minutes later.

Then we decided to light it on fire to see if it burned blue...
Pretty sweet huh?

Monday, May 17, 2010

The Best Way To Transport A Goat.

Look closely at the back of this truck. What do you see inside?
A goat! Actually, two of them...
Only in VA would you see a couple a goats being transported across town in the back of a pick-up truck. Nice.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Once Upon A Time

A week ago today, I was fulfilling my unrequited dreams of being in the Little Mermaid and Cinderella. In the process I got to wear three different hairstyles, including two wigs, was compared to Lady Gaga, Prince Valiant, Velma, and an awkward Asian, learned that Marie Antoinette was the one who said "Let them eat cake," and wore super fun pink pointe shoes. It was a blast!

Sometimes I Really Love My Life

Two weeks ago today I was hangin with some of my favorite people in the world. I love you guys!!!

Monday, May 10, 2010

Amazing Image of the Day

My brother just bought a bunch of throwing knives... this was one of his first attempts. Fortunately, he got much better after this throw.
Pretty sure the blade is supposed to go into the tree... not the handle.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

I Love You Mamma!


Happy Mother's Day to all you mamma's out there!