Can it Just be Wednesday Already?

There are two things I hate about the end of October (actually most of October) and the beginning of November.

The disgusting abundance of Christmas/Holiday stuff out before Halloween and the disgusting abundance of political ads.

Seriously. 

Fortunately for me, the election is tomorrow and starting Wednesday morning, I'll be able to watch TV again without gagging every three seconds from a new political ad.

I. Can't. Wait.

The nearly unbearable bombardment of political disgustingness has been way worse than usual this year, mostly because I have the misfortune to live in a battle state and in a metropolitan area (that's right Marylanders, I know allllll about Question freaking 7). 

I have literally experienced entire sixty minute prime time television shows where there have been about four non-political commercials. My favorite is when there is an ad for a democratic guy saying that his republican counterpart cut tons of money for this or that program, which is then immediately followed by the aforementioned republican guy saying that his aforementioned democratic challenger cut the same (or similar) amount of money for the same program. 

Thanks. The other guy cut funding. We get it. What will you do for us?

I'm still waiting.

But until you're ready, from now on (in the months of August, October, and early-November) I'll be exclusively watching TV via OnDemand, the mercifully commercial-free PBS, and the less influenced channels like HGTV and Food Network, which have about an eighth of the number of rude experiences per commercial break.

Because, really? How many of these ads do anything other than lie?

I'd rather not let my vote be influenced by that rubbish.

In Memoriam

via

Yesterday I lost a cherished family member.

But, don't worry. It wasn't a person.

It was the Buick.

For those of you who aren't aware, the Buick was an amazing car that I 

sort of inherited from my grandmother while I was in high school. 

It was huge, it was red (inside and out), and it was probably the 

most comfortable car I've ever been in. 

Seriously. I could have lived in it.

I started driving the Buick during my junior year of high school after a deer 

destroyed the front and right side of my van. It still had its PA 

license plates, which I thought was super cool.

We had quite a time together. . . Here are a few of the moment's I'll never forget.

We were together when I returned to driving after breaking my foot . . .

and when I slid it under the back bumper of a jeep that same afternoon

what a nice welcome back to driving experience.

We were together when the Buick was the only car in our arsenal 

that could get up the driveway during a snow event

especially snowmagaddon 

and snowpocalypse 

once the van left the driveway, it didn't come back up for a week.
the Buick was back up that afternoon.

We were together when the Buick hit the 100,000 mile mark

on 2/16/2012 two days after what would have been

Grandmommy's 96th birthday ♥

Happy 100,000 miles Buick.
I'll miss you terribly.

We were together when I was driving to Ocean City, NJ 

and basically broke down in Towson, MD

And we were (almost) together when I rented my first car

(thanks to the Towson incident)

my first rental car!

We were together when I bought my new car

(an almost direct result of the Towson incident)

We were together for one last time after I lost my wisdom teeth

(thanks to the squirrels that incapacitated my new car)

We had a great ride together . . . I 'll miss you!

Not Yet Please.

June 10 is far too soon for my thermometer to say that it is 109 degrees outside.

Granted, the temperature part is currently sitting in the sun and the weather channel only says it's 91... 

but I'd say that 91 degrees is still too hot.

Maybe King Louis XIII Had the Right Idea.

The Shower Window

Did you know that King Louis XIII only took five baths in his entire life and Louis XIV only took three?! Eww...

But I'm starting to think maybe they had the right idea, because I witnessed something super awkward yesterday.

I saw one of my neighbors in the shower.

Awkward.

Granted, I only saw the person's silhouette, but still, that was more than I wanted.

Let me explain. My apartment, and all the other apartments in my complex have a window in the bathroom—a window that looks right into the shower. The window is pretty nice, mostly because it lets lots of light into the bathroom and provides an awesome ledge to store stuff on. It's also kind of annoying because it leaks cold air in while you're showering and let me tell you, shaving your legs with goosebumps is not any fun.

Well yesterday's sighting confirmed another big downside to the window... the shower silhouette. It's something I've always kind of wondered about. The shower window is a privacy window, so it has that crazy pattern thing going so you can't see through it, but I've always kind of wondered if someone looking in my shower window would be able to see my silhouette—which while not as creepy as my actual birthday suit is still pretty awkward, no? To that end, I generally try to shower when it's bright outside (morning or afternoon) and not when it's dark (since that would require me to turn on the lights and internal lights + darkness outside = perfect window peeping conditions). But I'd never seen proof that my suspicions were correct. Until yesterday evening, when on my way into my building I looked to my left and saw the top half of my neighbor through the backlit shower window.

I think never taking a shower again (a la Louis XIII and his son) may be a little extreme (and smelly), but I also think I'll stick to my morning and afternoon showering schedule. Besides, then I won't have to worry about going to bed with wet hair and waking up with a crazy mess on my head.

Houston, We Have A... Weather Station!

Where did winter go? Apparently it didn't go anywhere, since good ol' Punxsutawney Phil (and the newly crowned Potomac Phil... weird) predicted six more weeks of winter. But it was in the high 60's yesterday and felt downright balmy.

Know where else it's been feeling downright balmy? My living room. Thank you radiator.

This is a super old picture.
I've since shortened the middle curtain because I was afraid that
the crazy heat that the radiator was emitting would hurt it.

I'm not exactly sure what it is that causes my radiator (and sole source of heat in the living/dining/kitchen areas) to turn on, but when it does, get ready to die of heat, because it gets super hot and my living room becomes a sauna.

It's horrible.

It was almost the subject of a fantastic post I was going to write called, "Welcome to my Sauna," but I felt weird writing about how hot it was when I couldn't actually tell you, so, I finally invested in a thermometer. Now I'll know the outside temperature (convienent for dressing appropriately in the morning... yes Grammy and Leslie, you can say I told you so) and the inside temperature, so I can justify running my air conditioner at full blast in January.

I never really wanted a thermometer because I couldn't quite figure out how I would do the outside temp part, since that usually requires you to put a little probe thinger somewhere. But this one is neat because the probe is attached to a super skinny cord that I was able to shove out my window. Very convenient!

I'm pretty excited about this.

What a Lot of Red

Traffic is no fun... Especially in the rain. At night. When you're hungry.

It's never good when you watch your GPS go from saying you'll reach your destination at 10:35 p.m. to saying you'll reach it at 4:45 a.m.

Terrifying.

This morning I had what was probably the most terrifying experience I've had in recent memory... more terrifying than not being able to find somewhere to live, more terrifying than being pulled over for the first time in my life, more terrifying than the time I collided with a deer and totaled my car.

This morning, I thought my building was on fire.

Everyone (well most people) who know me know that I have an irrational fear of fire. I don't know what started it, but since as far back as I can remember I've been terrified that my house was going to burn down. And today, I was positive that my worst fears were coming true.

You see, every apartment in my building is equipped with fire alarms, many of which seem to go off at a semi-regular basis. I guess they're pretty sensitive, because I've set mine off twice just by taking a shower, (the first time that happened I almost had a panic attack). So, usually when I hear a fire alarm go off (they are super loud), I get a little adrenaline boost, and then manage to shake it off. And since it happens pretty often, I know to expect three beeps, a pause, three more beeps, and then silence... I found out by experience that six beeps is about how long it takes to register that it's your alarm going off, and to run to the alarm and yank out the battery.

This morning, however, was different.

This morning I heard the alarm go off. Three beeps, pause, three beeps, pause... three more beeps, pause, three beeps...

I wasn't freaking out yet because every now and then it takes a little longer for the apartment occupant to stop their alarm...

Three beeps, pause, three beeps, pause, three beeps, pause...

Now I was starting to worry a little...

Three beeps, pause, three beeps, pause... running feet, three beeps, frantic door unlocking sounds, three beeps, frantic noises in the hall next to me....

Panic ensues.

Three beeps, pause, three beeps, then... crazy loud constant beeps. No pauses here.

It was the hall alarm. My building had to be on fire.

I threw on a shirt (I was still in my pjs thanks to the two tylenol p.m. I took the night before that made me sleep through my alarm), grabbed my keys, and ran out into the hall.

My next door neighbors (we share the wall that runs the length of my living and bedrooms) had their door thrown wide open and smoke was pouring out of a room that I'm assuming is the kitchen... but they are all still in there including one of the kids. So, I asked the lady if there was really a fire and she said no (I think... I was in panic attack mode by this point and she didn't seem to speak English very well). But I didn't see any flames and the smoke smelled like cooking smell (albeit a very acrid version), so I was somewhat appeased.

But still panicking. And the continual beeping of the fire alarms wasn't doing anything to sooth my rapidly unraveling nerves.

So I did what any rational (or perhaps unrational) person would do... I threw on whatever real clothes came to my grasp first, grabbed my computer (that way I'd have all my pictures and important things in the event that my apartment burned up), and hightailed it out of there as fast as humanly possible.

When I came back about an hour or so later, the beeping had stopped, my building was still there, and the only lingering reminder of my super scary morning was the hint of smoke lingering in the hallway.
Oh, and the nausea I was experiencing thanks to the obscene amounts of adrenaline still coursing through my body.

I almost supplemented my lunch with a large glass of red wine... maybe I'll have two with dinner.

This Shouldn't Be Allowed

On Monday when I was driving home from my weekend in DC, I stopped at the Leesburg Outlets to grab a few pairs of flip-flops and shorts from J. Crew. It was hot.

So hot, in fact, that when I got back to my car after battling the Memorial Day crowds for 3 or so hours, the thermometer said it was 107 degrees.

That's right. 107. In May.

I forgot to take a picture of that particular event. Fortunately for this blog (and unfortunately for heat hating me) when I got in my car after work yesterday, I was yet again graced by a three-digit temperature reading. 103 degrees. Gross.

It's not even summer yet.

I'm Going Under The Knife

Don't worry... I'm not getting plastic surgery or liposuction or a boob job or some other silly "body bettering" thing.

I'm parting ways with my wisdom teeth. All four of them.

Awesome.

That's right... at 8:30 tomorrow morning I'll be getting my drug induced laugh on for one final moment of painless bliss and then my gums are gonna be cut open and my slightly impacted wisdom teeth (which I swear have spent the past week trying to come out on their own) are going to be ripped from my jaws. 

Then afterwards, (from what everyone's been telling me) I'll spend a few pleasant days feeling nauseous, in tons of pain, and drooling all over myself... with cheeks that will make me look like a chipmunk that is preparing for the apocalypse to boot.

But it's cool. I'm prepared. I've been drinking water like it's my job (although not after midnight tonight) so that I'll be somewhat hydrated still when it comes time for them to stick me tomorrow morning. The doctor told me that being super hydrated would help quicken my recovery... hope he's right!

I have a monster sized bottle of ibuprofen which I plan to triple overdose on if the drugs they give me (Vicodin anyone?) make me sick. Which they probably will. 

I put two ice packs in the freezer, which my ballet teacher told me to put into the legs of a pair of tights and then tie around my face to keep them in place. Pretty sure I'll look like the coolest kid in the world. I may even start a trend.

I also am preparing a smorgasbord of chew-less food so that I won't shrivel away to nothingness when chewing causes me life ending pain. I'm saying yes please to chocolate pudding, Jello, Jello cake!, ICE CREAM, and for a little protein... yogurt.

I've also got movies and television up the wazoo to entertain myself while I'm couchbound. 

Now all I have to do is make sure that I'm better by Sunday so that I can enjoy the Pentz family Easter party. I think I would die if I missed all that yummy food... especially the apricot cookies and bread.

Wish me luck!

And The World Keeps On Spinning

Every now and then I have a spasm of stress. It sucks, makes me very iritable, and, during said spasm, I tend to get weepy.

I had one yesterday morning. I'm pretty sure that if a psychic had seen me, she (or he) would have said my aura was inky black, only penetrated by flashes of the deadliest lightning.

Sounds fun, huh?

My day did get a little better when I got a surprise delivery at work... an old issue of Cooking with Paula Deen that I had spent the past two months trying to track down. I was pretty jazzed about that.

Then, our intern said something that really hit a cord with me.

She said, "And the world keeps on spinning."

She said it more to herself than to me and it was about a completely unrelated subject to my foul mood, but it made me smile, and suddenly I felt better.

She is so wise.

I'm Praying For Snow

I saw this picture while looking at a YahooNews photo stream and dreaming of snow. It was too amazing to not share with the world (or at least my family who are probably the only ones who ever read this). Right now, it is 43 degrees and rainy. Today's high was in the 50s. It feels like summer!

Where did our winter go?

Rebecca Valk walks to her office in Poughkeepsie, N.Y., in near whiteout conditions Tuesday, Feb. 1, 2011. A monster storm began to bear down on the middle of the nation Tuesday, threatening to leave up to a third of the nation covered in brutal winter weather. 

(AP Photo/Poughkeepsie Journal, Spencer Ainsley)

There's A Fly In My Office

A big juicy fly. It's been here since Friday. All I hear is buzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

It's driving me crazy.

So crazy, in fact, that I've taken to stalking it with a pad of paper in an attempt to catch it unawares and smash it into a wall...

I'm glad no one else in my office has caught me doing this yet, because I'm pretty sure that I look eerily similar to Chef Louis attempting to catch Sebastian in Little Mermaid.



Unfortunately, the fly is winning.

My Wellness Checklist

As you may have guessed from yesterday's post... I'm sick. Don't know what kind of sick, but judging by the pulsating headache, runny/stuffy nose, skummy throat, and stuffy ears I've had for the past few days, it's something to do with my sinuses. GREAT.

But, I'm determined to get better. By Wednesday. No problem.

Sooo....

Humidifier ✔
A box of tissues (yay for puffs+vicks) every where I go ✔ ✔ (I have a box on both sides of my bed)
Hot washcloth ✔
Ibuprofen Sinus Headache ✔
Robitussin DM-MAX ✔
Musinex ✔
Multi-vitamin ✔
Crazy vitamin C suplement ✔ (But it's pretty nasty so it may become a last resort...)
Lots of sleep ✔ (well I'm trying at least)

Good health... here I come!

This won't be me for long! ☛

Eyeball Blues

So yesterday morning my eye still felt like someone was gouging a knife through it every time I blinked, or moved, or was alive, so I broke down and went to the eye doctor to see he could shed some light on my painful problem.

After poking around in my eye a bit, he finally found the offending particle. A teeny, tiny little calcium deposit had gotten trapped under my eyelid and was the source of all my pain and suffering. So, he got out his ultra fine tipped tweezers and picked it off my eye. Yay!

So now, except for the occasional twinge, which is easily soothed by the eyedrops he gave me, my eye feels allll better.

Thank god for doctors.

I'm Itchy

One of my least favorite things about summer, aside from the sweltering heat, is the ease with which you can get itchy.

Today (well all week actually) I'm suffering from mosquito bites I got while picking beans and tomatoes in the garden last night and the after-effects of the minor sunburns I got by not reapplying sunscreen often enough while at the shore last weekend.

I can't wait for fall.

What a Week.

Well. If ever there was a week that made me want to pour myself a (very) stiff drink, this past week would be it!

On Sunday (a week ago) mom, Mitchell, and I came home from Vermont after a very lovely two week vacation with lots of family.

My troubles started Monday morning when I tried to start the Buick. It didn't (start that is). So I got my mom to come jump it. I thought nothing of it and went to work. A couple hours later, however, when I was done work and I tried to start my car nothing happened. I tried to jump it. Nothing.

Finally, my brother got it started, took it to the shop, and was told it probs just needed a new battery. So we went to an auto parts store where the idiot old man told me and my brother that we had somehow managed to switch the polarity of the battery by jumping it with the positive clamp on the negative battery part and vice versa, and that we should try going somewhere else. Now, even I know that if you tried to do something as silly as that it will not switch the polarity, rather it would spark a ton and possibly blow up. Meanwhile, I tried to restart my car, and in the five minutes it had been off, the battery had died again. So, rather than try to jump it again, we got a second opinion and he gave me a new battery. The car started right up and all was fine.

On Tuesday morning I got in my car, turned it on (quite successfully), and started to drive to work. Then I noticed something. My breaks were barely working. Needless to say, I went straight to the shop this time, dropped off my car, and trekked through the very very hilly downtown region (in the hot and humid Virginia summer heat) to work. Yuck.

Well, this time I was kind of concerned because I was planning on driving to Ocean City, NJ the next morning and I was pretty sure that driving a car with little to no breaking ability would be rather inadvisable.

A little more than several hours later, I got a call from the mechanic telling me that my car needed a new master cylinder (to fix the break problem), two new tires (apparently mine weren't safe anymore), new break pads, and new rotors. Great. When I picked up my car that afternoon I was happy to find that my breaks offered resistance when I attempted to stop my car.

Ocean City, here I come!

Wednesday started out fine, but then, about 2 hours into my trip I noticed that it was a little warm in my car. I turned up the A/C and nothing happened. So I'm thinking, great, my A/C is on the fritz. But at least nothing catastrophic has happened... I can deal with a little humidity.

Then, just outside of Towson, MD, I noticed the heat sensor light up. It stayed on for about 2 minutes, turned off for about 45 seconds, and then came on again. I called mom and she said that my fluids were probably low and I should pull off at the next exit. The road I got off on happened to house a Merchants Tire and Auto, so I pulled in there, figuring that they'd be able to tell me what was going on with my car. They told me it will be about an hour and fifteen minutes before they can look at my car, so I went to the nearby Towson Town Center, a gargantuan four story mall to chill out.

I was a little frazzled by the whole affair and super bummed by this unexpected delay to my sunbathing plans, but I can chill in a random city with the best of them. When I got back to the shop, the Merchant's guy quite calmly told me that I would certainly not be driving to Jersey anytime soon in my car and that I was basically lucky that I (by which I mean my car and its engine) hadn't blown up yet. Then he (still quite calmly) told me that it would take a day and about $1,200 to fix the broken upper intake valve on my engine that was apparently leaking antifreeze all over... or something to that effect.

Well as you can imagine, a twelve hundred dollar car repair, and the fact that I was three hours from home, sort of frayed my usually cool, calm, and collected exterior, but to make an already way too long story short, my parents decided that the Merchants guys were silly and that I should take the Buick to a dealer because it would at the very least be cheaper. So I drove down the street and around the corner to Jerry's.

When I got there I noticed that some kind of liquid was pouring out of my car. Like literally pouring. Great. So, when the Jerry's guy came out, I told him what the Merchant's guys said and he said that they were full of crap. He looked under the Buick's hood and saw, basically right away, that the problem was a broken water pump, which would cost a heck of a lot less to fix than that gasket thingy. Perfect.

The only problem was that by this time it was about 5:45 and they closed up shop at 6, so I wasn't going to be going anywhere in the Buick that night. Fortunately, my genius papa suggested I rent a car to get me the final three hours I had to the beach. So I had Enterprise fix me up with a little economy rental and I was back on the road after, you know, a short little side trip. No big deal.

But the beach was amazing and totally worth it! I got to see KT and Jason and meet all of KT's family. At times I must admit I was a little overwhelmed by the Italianness of them all but I loved every minute of it! My car got fixed on Thursday, I picked it up on Saturday, and now, Sunday, so far so good... hopefully I didn't just jinx myself...

My little Hyundai Accent rental... it's so cute isn't it!

KT, Jason, and Me on the boardwalk at Ocean City

We are so lame.

PETA Would Definitely NOT Approve.

This looks like something my brother would do...

It's disturbing, yet really awesome at the same time

On Friday, BrewDog, a brewery in Scotland, released its "End of History" collection - 12 bottles of what they dubbed, the "strongest, most expensive, and most shocking beer in the world."

At 1,000 bucks a pop, the 55% alcohol blond Belgian ale was infused with nettles from the Scottish Highlands and fresh juniper berries. The best part? Each bottle was served in its own personal stuffed squirrel or stoat cozy.

Seriously.

My dad totally would have been all over this situation... if not for the squirrels.

Really?

When I was in Hallmark today I was informed that they would be revealing the new Christmas ornament collection on July 10 and that I should really be there. Umm really? July?

I guess they take Christmas in July very seriously at Hallmark.

Ahh Nature.

This really huge bug was hanging out on our front walk today. Yuck.