I'm Sorry

I've recently been informed that I am an apologetic person. Perhaps too apologetic.

I guess I could see how people get that impression. I do tend to end a lot of sentences with the phrase, "I'm sorry!" or "I'm sorry?" or even "I'm sorry..." I do tend to just say sorry/apologize to people, often for almost no apparent reason. And, "I'm sorry" is often the response you will get from me if you say anything from, "You just punched me in the face" to "I lost my puppy" to "We're out of milk."

But, I ask you, what's so wrong with that? I guess if I just punched you in the face, that's an understandable "I'm sorry." Obviously I should say I'm sorry, because that's what I've been taught to do since pre-school when I learned all my morals. If you tell me that you lost your puppy, I say I'm sorry because I feel bad about the fact that you lost your puppy. So, I say I'm sorry, not because I think that it's my fault that you lost your puppy, not because I stole your puppy and I am apologizing for taking it. Instead, I'm sorry because I have pets of my own and I know that I would be upset if I lost Kitty or Frisk or even Sam, so I feel bad that you lost your pet and am empathizing. When we're out of milk, the sorry refers to the fact that I also use the milk and I should have noticed that we were running low and picked some up from the store on the way home.... See it makes sense, right?

I guess it doesn't always though because half the time that I say "I'm sorry," I get the response, "It's not your fault." Well duh. Of course I know it's not my fault when you fall and scrape your knee or you get into a car accident or you accidentally (drunkenly) spill cranberry juice (mixed with something else) all over the front of your brand new, bright white party dress. But I'm sorry doesn't always have to mean I did something and now I am sorry for the fact that I did it. Can't it also mean, "I feel really bad for what just happened to you and I wish I could do something to help you even though I know I can't"? Can't it mean "it shouldn't have happened to you and it sucks that it did"?

And then there were those times in college when I would, 1. apologize to the class when I took 10 minutes longer than anyone else to finish my molecular lab practical and 2. apologize to Dr. Yorty for turning in a test that I knew was not going to be an A, possibly be a B, and most likely going to be a C? In this case, the sorry to the class was for the fact that I was keeping them from going home early. The apology to the teacher was because I was sorry that despite all her attempts to pound the information about PCR and DNA sequencing into my brain, I had still forgotten a significant amount of the information and had therefore probably failed.

All in all, I guess what I'm trying to say here is that saying "I'm sorry" is not always cause for the response "that's ok, it's not your fault." Nor is it a phrase that can be overused. In fact, I personally believe that most people don't say it enough. So, the next time you're in a spot where you see someone who needs a little empathy and comfort, try using the phrase, "I'm sorry" and see if it doesn't make you feel a little better too.