Five years ago, my ballet studio performed Cinderella for it's spring performance and a Disney themed baby recital. It was my senior year in high school and I was supposed to be the Winter Fairy in the former performance and the Little Mermaid in the latter.
But, I broke my foot. No ballet for me. Story of my life.
Fast forward to Saturday, when this year's ballet and parts were announced. Our spring performance is going to be parts of three different ballets, act 1 of Cinderella, act 2 of Coppelia, and the first half of the Little Mermaid.
Sound familiar? I thought so.
Well as you can probably imagine, when I heard what ballets we were doing, I sort of had a mini freak out. It was small and in my head, and I was very contained on the surface, but internally, I wanted to cry a little bit. You see, when I found out that my broken foot would prevent me from dancing in (what I thought would be) my final ballet ever, I was devastated. Now, when I sort of feel like I'm re-living high school, it's a little weird to also be re-living the spring ballets I never got to dance in.
And then, after I finished my mini-freakout, I had another. What if, by some crazy universe altering something, they decided to cast me in the roles I never got to be? I'd get to wear a tutu one last time. I'd get a solo. I'd be murdered by all the girls who actually care, no, obsess over what part they get. The girls who put up with class four days a week and go to summer camp and basically do whatever it takes to look good in class. (I did this, too, only back in my day I had class five days a week). The point is, it would never happen. In a way, I don't deserve to get good roles anymore because I'm basically just a pseudo-student. I'm not real. I don't care about it the way that they do anymore. But, a little part of my unfulfilled high school senior self, hoped for a miracle.
In the end, I got two very good roles. I'm going to be the dancing teacher in Cinderella (a small solo) and one of the Little Mermaid's sisters in the Little Mermaid. I'm pretty excited about this, but at the same time, I'm still a little sad and honestly, a little apprehensive. Hopefully the déjà vu won't go as far as my health :)
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